Loving Yourself
Too often, we spend so much time and energy caring for others that our own needs go unmet. Work expectations, family roles, and relationships often take precedence over our wellness (physical, emotional, social, etc.) and we suffer as a result. Even when we feel fulfilled by the many hats we wear, it is vital that we care for our own needs as well. Prioritizing self-care allows you to show up more wholeheartedly for others!
Rachel Brathen (Yoga Girl podcast) used the metaphor of a vase to explain why self-care is paramount. Imagine that you are a vase filled with water and your goal is to fill the empty vases surrounding you. You begin to rock back and forth so the water will slosh into the other glasses. Eventually, your vase shatters as a result of the instability. Now, imagine that your vase is on a firm foundation and there is water pouring into your vessel. Once you are full, you naturally begin to overflow and fill the nearby glasses. When we take care of ourselves first and absorb all of the resources we can, we are more apt to help our loved ones as a result.
Selfishness
Self-care is not selfish. Being selfish means putting one’s own needs before the needs of others, regardless of the impact it has on those others. It is not selfish to give yourself some of the love and affection you so often pour into others. It is selfish for a person to expect you to neglect your own needs to tend to theirs, day after day. In fact, one could argue that putting your needs first is selfless in that you will then have more resources to help others. Women especially struggle with prioritizing self-care; often tending to others at work all day and then coming home to do the same.
Self-care
Loving yourself means holding the space to accept that you are enough in this moment AND being able to acknowledge the areas you want to improve (without judgment). It means reflecting on your strengths and interests and utilizing those to feel joy. It could be as simple as going on a walk through your neighborhood after a long day or treating yourself to your favorite meal. It could mean calling a friend you haven’t connected with in a while or starting a book you have been putting off. Listening to a great playlist while taking a mindful shower is also self-care; the options are endless. All that matters is that you are giving yourself the same level of care and effort that you so easily give to others. Do something you love today.
“When we give ourselves compassion, we are opening our hearts in a way that can transform our lives.” – Kristin Neff