Within Our Control
I like being in control. I tend to get worked up if something doesn’t go as planned. If you are like me, you may feel like your life is spiraling right now. You may notice that your anxiety, depression, or even trauma symptoms have increased. It makes sense given the uncertainty that is rampant and continuously increasing. The reality is that you have no more control today than you did a few weeks ago. I’ll say it again, you have no more control over your life today, than you did January 1st.
A lot of people like to be in control and want more control over their lives. Children and adolescents alike fight for their autonomy. As adults, this struggle plays out at work and in our relationships. Lacking control in our lives can increase anxious symptoms and the frequency of repetitive tasks, because those are things that you can control. It can also cause us to overcompensate and fight for more power over others.
The difference is that we are now hyper-aware of the amount of control we do have over our lives. You could have lost your job last month and been unemployed indefinitely. Your flight could have gotten cancelled at the last minute, causing a disruption to your travel plans. A family member could have been very sick and contagious. You are probably frustrated now though because it seems like so many things are happening at once that are out of your control!
With so much uncertainty in the world right now, it is helpful to focus on what IS within your capabilities. Most of us can still control how we spend our down time, it may just be different than our norm. You could make the most out of being off work by spending time catching up on cleaning, or that project you’ve been putting off. You could take a stroll through your neighborhood, or go for a nature walk in a park. You could do some research to increase your job skills or hone in on a specialty. The point is that although life seems more challenging right now, you can use this time for growth.
Another helpful tip is to make small changes to your routine. Often, creating habits is more impactful over time than one huge change. You probably have more time to spend with your loved ones too, so make the most of this quality time (Check out my Managing Holiday Stress blog for ideas).
We have been given the opportunity and I am giving you the reminder “to accept the things [we] cannot change, the courage to change the things [we] can, and the wisdom to know the difference. (Reinhold Niebuhr)”